Yes, I still love it

A visiting educator stopped by my classroom today. He walked around, looked at charts. He talked to my students; asked some pointed questions. And then he said, “After all these years, you still love teaching.”

At that moment, we were simply doing what we do, but what he said threw me. He named how I felt. And apparently, at the moment, it was evident.

That is not to say there aren’t painful times.

Times that I go home questioning myself, upset about something that did not go well. Times when my next step is unclear. Times when something crops up that I can not control or figure out stops learning cold. Times when the stumbling blocks of learning keep me from sleep. These times describe a large part of teaching.  Even so, the puzzle and the possibility keep me coming back to the classroom, And every day, I’m met by students.

Being able to step into what is hard about learning and figure it out with students is a great gift. Yes, after all these years, I still love it. 

That One Kid

Last week my kiddos entered the library. Many had a mission. Some had no idea what they wanted. All* were eager as they sat on the steps of the tiny read aloud amphitheater. They waited, listening to the always repeated instructions to be quiet because of students being tutored in nooks and crannies. Slowly. Step by step, they were released.

D– grabs a Baby Mouse book.
K– is clutching a Rick Riordan graphic novel (who knew).
V– opens a book about India as D– asks, is that really how it looks?
M– has already checked out her book and is engrossed on the steps of the amphitheater.
S– rocks in the rocking chair with Harry Potter.
M– sits at the table reading a cookbook.
A– is looking for a book on Cinderella. Not a Cinderella book, a book on Cinderella. 

This could be a post on how wonderful this tiny slice of my day felt. Or about the importance of library space and time. It could be about allowing choice. Or about what real readers look like. But this post is about one kiddo.

T– sits without a book on the step. I wander over to him. “I don’t want a book,” he replies matter-a-factly, to my query.  I follow up with the usual round of questions. Nothing inspires him to try. He is my worry. He is sweet and smart. He has lots of friends, but he’s an outlier. In our daily community circle, we have a generalized question that most can respond to. Something like what’s your favorite color, food, movie, game, etc. He most often responds sweetly with “I don’t know.”  I have yet to get his parent in to talk about his work. I am flummoxed. And every time I sit and reflect on student work, I see him as barely meeting expectations.

Recently, I sat with T– to talk about his writing. The two paragraphs, six lines, 65 words, were good. Right on track. This was the product of two weeks of nudging and coaching.  I complimented him on what he did and what he could do next. He smiled. But he was done. He had no desire to continue on.

As I write this, I don’t have a solution. T– is the kid that haunts me because I know how this goes.  Coaching him through a process moves him a little.  With each nudge, he takes the requested step. But without the next nudge, there’s no movement.  And I’m not always there for that push. I can’t be, and I shouldn’t be. It is so easy to give up. And I am sure that is what has happened over the years.

I will continue to nudge, offer another book, ask him another question, and judging by his behavior so far, he will continue to comply just enough to barely meet the expectation.  I know the minute I walk away, he will drift off into another space.

In the end, it comes down to our relationship. I am T’s teacher, and he is doing what he has always done with teachers.  But each day offers another opportunity for me. T– has a line in my plan book, making me accountable to his needs.  A plan that consists of conversation and choice. And hopefully, he will bring me a little closer to what might inspire him to become a learner.


NCTE19: Seeing Student Thinking

I remember when my oldest was in fifth grade and was ready to give up on a science project, I said, “You can’t! I’ve worked too hard on this!” I think of that time when I am working really hard to teach something, and I make myself stop.

Learning is done by students. I can’t force learning.  For so many reasons. I need reminders to listen and look for what the student is doing in their context, not my lesson. What they are doing makes sense to them. Most likely, what I intended to teach them won’t unless I can understand their understanding. It’s my job to see their thinking.

This message I heard, again and again, at NCTE19. 

Shift the paradigm of teaching from what is in our heads to what is in the student’s head.– Vicki Vinton

The teacher should not be the protagonist. — Carl Anderson

We need to let go of our thinking and listen to theirs. — Maria Nichols

Don’t rush the reseach. Don’t interpret. Just take notes. — Dan Feigelson

Learning is consensual. — Cornelius Minor

My NCTE notebook is full of wise words from master teachers and writers. And while I have many ideas to plumb around action research, informational writing, revision, poetry, and the teaching of reading, all are deeply impacted by the need to become, as the Minor/Anderson/Feigelson Sunday session called it, a radical listener. To be able to hear the process by which students are attempting to tackle their learning, one must listen for what they are doing with nudges to say more or show me. All moves to engage the learner in doing so that the next challenge might be revealed to me. Setting my teach aside is necessary to be able to see what students might be ready to learn.

This is not to say I haven’t shown a math strategy, suggested a transitional phrase to help a writer, or told a student the meaning of a word.  But, when I do, I try to remember that science project. I was the learner, not my son, and it wasn’t about science.



Out of Nowhere

Last Friday, K– asked, “Why do we have homework?”

“K –,”  I said, “Why do you ask? All we do is read.”

“I know. We read more at home, so we can grow. I just want to know why homework exists.”

“What made you think of this?”

“I don’t know.”

Exactly where the best questions come from, I think.

So I give him a super-short version of a topic that too many have said too much about.

“Well…the amount of homework has to do with the amount of academic progress you need to make and the amount of it you can do in the classroom.” I look at him. He’s looking at me. This is a kiddo who usually plays tag all the way into class.  What the heck? “Does that make sense?” I ask.


Alrighty. With that, check-in, I continue. “When you are young, you do most of your learning in class. You are asked to read in elementary school because the amount of reading you must do to grow a grade level can’t be done in the time we have in class.”

I check again to see if he is with me. He’s listening as are two of his friends. “As you age, ” I continue, “you can handle more learning on your own, and the amount of learning you must do increases. ”

They are still looking at me. So I continue, building the scenario up to college, where one hour of class time requires three hours of study time. And then I stop.

I look at K– and his friends and ask, “Does that make sense?”


Glad I solved that one.

Slice of Life: Read Aloud Windows and Mirrors

My unwavering goal as a teacher is to make sure my students leave my classroom knowing that it’s possible to love a book. Every day we read aloud.

Most recently, we have been reading picture books with the lens of windows and mirrors. My students never cease to surprise me and teach me.

We read Drum Dream Girl by Margarita Engle. This beautiful picture book poem tells the tale of a Cuban-Chinese girl living in 1930s-Cuba. She wants to play the drums but is not allowed because she is a girl. I expected this to be a mirror for girls who saw this as unfair. Yet it was boys who saw this as a mirror. “My parents say only girls can make slime, not boys, so I can’t,” A– said.  The girls saw this story as a window. “That was how it was, but now girls can do anything,” said K–.


While it’s progress, girls have accepted their right to do, I know these same girls know women aren’t being paid equally. Many of the girls who sat on the carpet saying Drum Dream Girl is not a mirror have written about the inequities of women’s soccer player pay. So while it might look like gender inequity solved, it isn’t.  It’s a subtle change. This generation of girls is growing up, knowing they have the right to do. That’s the past. They are a part of the next step, equal acknowledgment for what they do.

The strict gender expectations of how boys must operate in the world saddened me.  Boys doing something girls do is not ok. An unchanged scenario. This seems a much smaller step than girls crossing cultural and work domains. But apparently, even a hint of a boy doing something a girl might choose to do is not allowed. Insulting and limiting.


Tomorrow we will read Sparkle Boy by Leslea Newman. I can’t wait to see what type of reflections and viewpoints this will bring.



Slice of Life: Handwritten Letters a Reason to Write

As I thought about the possible things my students could do to celebrate national #whyIwrite day, I kept coming back to the handwritten letter. The rapid decline in letter writing is understandable. Emails, texts, direct messages are expedient and effective ways to conduct business. But what of human relationships? Are they a thing of the past?

Reading the letters saved by my mother makes me believe in the continued importance of letter writing. I had no idea these letters existed or how much these slips of paper would mean to me. Not just for the content, but for the way they were treasured. Wrapped in ribbons and rubber bands. The correspondence saved in postmarked envelopes. The paper, the script, the pen used all create dimension and context. 

I shared some of the letters with my students and invited them to write their own to people who would value them; save them for the future. They wrote to parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, friends.  Sweet letters with rainbows and hearts. There were letters addressed to authors, YouTubers, and boy bands all signed, sincerely from your number one fan. These tangible objects sealed in an envelope, carry weight giving everyone a reason to write.

Literary essay: obvious but unnoticed

My fourth-graders read with giggles and gasps and oh nos. They stop with urgency and reach for their notebooks to write something they must hold on to and then race back to their book. They ask for books by title and author. And when I hand them a new book, they jump and squeal. This is how they read.

Many students take notebooks and pads of paper to recess to create comics and stories. They ping pong off each other’s characters and ideas. There are often cheers when writing workshop starts and groans when it ends.  This is how they write.

This is why I struggle with the idea of literary essays. To ask nine-year-olds to take their developing love of story and turn it into something to be sliced and diced.  Analyzed. Schoolified. Why just when reading and writing are becoming something they enjoy, must we make it something they don’t?  Every year I wrestle with the why.  Some years I’ve simply refused to do the standard work. Having students write their opinions about issues that matter to them; finding relevant support for their ideas is an authentic way to approach opinion writing. The only justification I can manage for writing literary essays at nine is to teach a structure and discipline of thinking about opinion writing.

This year I decided to start it off writing about stories they have heard since kindergarten: Poppleton by Cynthia Rylant and Frog and Toad by Arnold Lobel.

At first, they were beside themselves, mimicking the yoo-hoo’s of Cherry Sue. But once they settled into the idea, they got into spirited discussions as to whether Cherry Sue was annoying or thoughtful.  Students came to their ideas with ease: Poppleton is lazy; Toad is caring.

The tricky part has become the process of writing their explanation of their beliefs.  At nine, students can reason verbally in sophisticated ways, however, putting those ideas on paper is a big step. And, this holds true across subject matter. And it makes sense. That’s why the most accessible texts and that give rise to simplistic ideas work. The writing becomes all about the reasoning.

In the past, I’ve asked students to write about Those Shoes by Maribeth Bolts or Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson or Taco Head by Viola Canales.  These are stories students understood and connected to. But they were too much. Students focused on the evidence, not their reasoning. The evidence was the explanation. Also, students held the same beliefs about characters. There was no difference in interpretation. With Poppleton and Frog and Toad, the text is limited. The same evidence resulted in differing opinions, and that required explanation.

I started out this unit unhappily. Wondering why. Wonderfully, I have relearned something fundamental. I knew simple texts pushed bigger thinking in reading, but I failed to implement this understanding in writing. Obvious, but unnoticed.

I wonder and hope my students learn half as much as I do.


Slice of Life: Writing Found

I’ve been wrestling with writing. Many days I’ve composed thoughts only to allow something to get in the way of it arriving on a page. Day after day, I fill moments where writing could have been. It may have been with a book or a friend. But as time goes by, so do we. Writing represents who we are, how we remember, and how we are remembered. I felt this intensely when I cleaned out my parents’ home.

With the closing of their home, I pulled their notebooks and letters, their lived lives into mine.  Their writing holds who they were; of the times they lived in and through. And as lived, they wrote.

Boxes and notebooks. Writing done with manual typewriters. Letters penned by my grandparents who learned English as their second language. Letters sent home from war fronts, written on fragile airmail paper. Boxes of letters saved just as valuable as the yellowing wedding dresses and baby clothes. Words mattered.

Now their writing sits in boxes alongside the notebooks, poems, letters, and other musings of my children; the detritus of who they were at five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten. And I sit in between. Examing how privileged my people were and are to be literate.

How lucky I am to have the opportunity to write and to be able to teach writing. What a crucial way to be human.


Essential Conversation #2

I am reading The Essential Conversation: What Parents and Teachers Can Learn from Each Other by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot. Each chapter is filled with teacher stories and wise thoughts. I wrote my reflections on the first chapter in this post.

Having been on both sides of the parent and teacher desk, I felt a bit defensive about the title of the second chapter.  I thought we were collaborative not “Natural Enemies.” This said chapter two had me questioning my beliefs. Had I been suppressing feelings as a parent, or sugar-coating student accomplishments as a teacher?  I have had difficult conversations, some still haunt me.  Was I avoiding conflict?


I could categorize painful parent/teacher discussions into three categories.

  •  Reflecting on a child’s progress
  • Questioning a teacher’s approach
  • A combination of the two

Thinking on my experiences, I always felt I made mistakes that could have been avoided. But, perhaps conflict is necessary. Perhaps, it brings what needs to be done to the forefront.

If teachers and parents are speaking their minds and opening up their hearts, then it is likely that there will be contrary points of view that lead to disagreements needing to be named and dealt with.

True and scary.

Chapter two contains a series of teacher stories that present practices that could make potentially combustible parent/teacher conversations productive. I’ll share the ideas that I want to institute or improve in the coming school year.

The Child is the Bridge: School to Home
All parents want to know what is going on but most kiddos will not be able to convey their school experiences. I send home a weekly packet of completed work with the hopes that it will help however, I wonder about the effectiveness of this process. It may work for the engaged parent and successful student, but not necessarily for the student who struggles with organization and/or academics. Sending home a packet of work does not make the bridge. One of the teachers profiled in this section also sends home weekly work but with a few added features.

  • A comment page with one or two observations about the child and space for the parent to respond and sign. What a great way to encourage communication and make myself more accountable noting growth or the lack of it every week. This would keep parents aware so that they can take action.  In my experience, most families are appreciative of knowing about concerns sooner rather than later.
  • An “Ask Me…” section that lists questions parents can ask their children about their week in school. It could be about anything we did during the week. This could start out with my questions with the goal of students creating the questions for their classmates to ask. The more I think about it, the more I like this idea as a way to build the bridge from school to home.

Each Child has “Unique Fingerprints”
Where a child lands relative to a “benchmark” produces pointless anxiety. What matters is how the child is moving on his journey as a learner and human. The uniqueness of every child can get buried by the pressure. How a child presents during one school year needs to be taken in the context of their journey. I have to work to make sure that unique qualities that fall outside the realm of academics are acknowledged and celebrated. Looking at the child through a long lens is helpful. Not just who they are now relative to a benchmark, but how their process of learning is progressing.  Next year, I want to devise a way to view progress relative to process; that takes into account goals made, strategies tried, and growth over time. The more specific the better.

Adjust the Mindset
One of my biggest takeaways from this chapter is the mindset I bring to conversations with parents.

  • View difficult conversations as a problem to solve together.  This mindset changes the tone from adversarial to collaboration. A what-can-we-do stance assumes that whatever the problem is will get better.
  • View parent input as a way to feed your teaching. Getting feedback can be painful but with a wide-open door, misconceptions can be cleared up. The effectiveness of my curriculum, no matter how long I teach or how flexible I am, can only be improved through honest family conversations.

Essential Conversations #1

UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_1bc2This summer, I dedicated my reading life to my literary self. A tweet by Jess Lifshitz via Val Brown got a professional text into my book stack, and last week I started reading The Essential Conversation, What Parents and Teachers Can Learn From Each Other.  It has not disappointed.

Each chapter brings up emotional and substantive issues that surround the parent/teacher and home/school relationships.  It brings to light things I know, but need to reflect on to develop.

The first chapter, “Ghosts in the Classroom,” shares teacher experiences as students. Generational, cultural, and personal histories all play a role, coloring their current work and approach. In some cases, teachers have made intentional moves because of their experiences; in others, only upon reflection did they realize how personal experiences affected their teaching.  We all bring a backstory and expectations to the relationship. Noticing our history helps us understand our reactions and relationships.

To do this work, I had to dig deep. Past recent memories and my own children’s conferences to get to my childhood memories. What stood out were confrontations my mother had with teachers.

I lived in a community of educated parents with professional jobs who had high expectations for their children. If a student did not attain expectation with the instruction given, then a poor grade was the result. This was the case in my middle school French class. 

A note from my teacher instigated the conference. I was not allowed at the conference, but I remember how upset my mom was afterward. She described my teacher as wicked and prejudiced. I didn’t care what the teacher wanted. I cared about what my parents thought. I felt protected yet at the same time, scared of the teacher.  I got through that semester learning very little French.

This is my history, and it has colored my interactions as a parent and a teacher.

I chose an elementary school for my children that encouraged parent involvement. I knew my kids’ teachers and they knew me.  I saw everyday events. If something negative happened, it had context.  Lines of communication were open, and eventually, trust was developed. I didn’t have to be there to know things were being handled fairly.

Reflecting on my experiences as a student and a parent, I have three big ideas.
Parents trust you with their child.
As a parent, being allowed to observe the classroom alleviated the anxiety of dropping my child off. As they grew, I worried if they fit academically and socially.
Thinking back, rather than wait for a dreaded call or a formal teacher conference, I would have appreciated earlier feedback.

In my classroom, I want parents to ask questions early in our relationship. Offering opportunities to contact me by text, email, phone call, or a questionnaire (inspired by Pernille Ripp) has helped me understand students and mitigate potential problems early in the year.

The child should have a voice in teacher/parent interactions.
In most cases having the student as a full participant seems only fair. In our twice-yearly formal conferences, students lead the discussion. When my fourth graders learn this, they go into temporary shock.  It’s a new concept, but I tell them they are experts on themselves. Why shouldn’t they lead the conference? The process is revealing.  A student’s description of their work is an assessment in itself; setting new goals are often outcomes of these meetings.

Look through the lens of the parent.
By continually asking, how would I feel if this were my child, helps in all aspects of teaching. When I think about how I talk with parents, it helps me focus on the whole child and their progress over time.

I’m reading on. Posting my reflections in this space.